Acknowledge. Grow. Live.
There’s a line from a pre-pandemic sermon that lives rent free in my head. Though my notes from it are long gone, the message or overarching question that the pastor left us with is one I’ve echoed to myself regularly— “will you be aware?” It’s a rhetorical question that I noticed would arise from a voice within, when I would turn opportunities down because I didn’t feel worthy, felt afraid or anxious, or didn’t feel ready enough. It’s become a question that ushers me back into the present moment and out of my thoughts of the past or worries of the future. It opens my heart and narrows my focus to see the teachable moment unfolding before me.
When I ran my most recent marathon in the beautiful city of Valencia, Spain I traveled solo. Though I had been on numerous “solo trips” before this one was a step up—it would be my second time traveling internationally and my first time in a country where English wasn’t the native language. Being the big picture thinker that I am, without a second thought I trusted my ability to summon my knowledge and comprehension of Spanish from the past, my ability to navigate the city’s public transportation and ride share, and ability to plan daily meals and outings on-the-fly during the duration of my stay. And when I arrived, I wasn’t wrong.
As I began to explore the beautiful city, touring museums, walking through markets, eating at restaurants, I felt the familiar question gently nudging me—”will you be aware?” With the beauty all around me I wondered what else could be here for me to see? I let the question go, remaining open for the answer to come to me organically. To my joy, it slowly did. Ordering at a restaurant I was asked if I wanted the Spanish or English menu. I thought for a moment and then told the waitress I’d like the Spanish one. It was a small decision, but it for some reason it made me realized how “in control” I felt in Valencia. The day-by-day existence style of my trip appealed to me—I had very high-level plan, but every moment had become an adventure. I felt more present than ever in my life, as I listened intently while others spoke, not burdened by my personal projections I took received their words as they were. No overthinking or interpreting through the lens of my insecurities. I made decisions that offered newness, play, sparked curiosity, and surprise—I was no longer limited by my natural tendencies or patterns that made things feel “easier”. Completely out of my comfort zone, it was as if I stepped into a warm, inviting freshness—instead everything I did was growing me in some way.
As I got ready for bed to close out the insightful day, it was like a bolt of inspiration overtook me. The greatest lightbulb moment. Two powerful questions fell from my mouth as I realized that the trip was about much much more than me running a marathon that I trained almost a year for—it was a pivotal growth opportunity and the end of an era of perfectionism.
What if I lived like I believed that myself and others are merely in a journey of growing? What if that’s what life was about—acknowledging and accepting your personalized series of opportunities to get better, learn, and grow?
I stood there for a moment in awe of those questions—the expansiveness they brought to my heart and mind, endless opportunities. Everything was an opportunity, not an obligation. I began to wonder how this would change how I approached life. Would I value my own thoughts and opinions over others? Would I would give a try more often? Would I experiment more freely? I realized I often feared repercussions, consequences, negative results, but during my stay in Valencia I reconnected with my child-like lifestyle of living one day at a time, I was just learning from anything, curious about everything, and assured that I could handle whatever came from my choices. It was beautiful.
May you acknowledge, grow and live, too.
