Trust You’re Enough
I love “what if” questions. They’re so powerful. Like a portal into a new dimension, mindset, or avenue of possibilities, “what if” has always challenged me to put stock in myself or to be bold, to be daring, and to hold courage or show up unapologetically me. It’s “what if you just give it one try” is a common question that builds momentum in my life, and led me to apply for yoga teacher training. Now, months removed from training, “what if’s” have helped me move forward in my new path as a teacher, encouraging me to propose classes, substitute, explore course development, and experiment with branding.
However, recently substituting a series of yoga classes for a more seasoned teacher brought out my insecurities. Every class I felt like the students were expecting something else, and I couldn’t get my finger on the pulse of their expectations. It started to make me question if I was ready to teach, and if not, what I needed to learn to fill the gaps. After each class I would review my carefully curated notes and consider different perspectives to take—”what if I tried this?”—fleshing out different openings, alternate pose sequences to explore, and varied ways I could weave chosen philosophy/education throughout class. I’d create or edit a new playlist to match the mood I hoped to set and continue nitpicking my teaching. The second week of classes came and went, and though I had felt a little more comfortable substituting classes, I still ended each one harshly critiquing myself. However, when revisiting my class notes, this week I struggled to pinpoint what to “fix”. So I grew introspective and started to question my feelings of dissatisfaction, wondering what they were trying to tell me and where they wanted me to look.
I turned to Spotify podcasts for inspiration and queued up some episodes from the archives of Yogaland—a podcast that focuses on yoga, mindfulness self-study, self-regulation and more. With divine synchronicity, I found an episode entitled Embracing Vulnerability & Building Resilience as a Yoga Teacher, that seemed to have been scripted with me in mind. In the episode, one of the hosts recollected his honest experience starting out as a yoga teacher. He spoke candidly about insecurities he had, class attendance, and all the work he put in to get where he is today, highlighting that the very feelings I was navigating were typical for most teachers who were just starting out. I felt seen and no longer alone, and a new series of “what if” questions arose to pivot me toward a new direction, deeper self-trust, and greater confidence:
What if I believed that all the training I received already was enough? What if I trusted in my ability to learn and innovate? What if I simply set my intentions for my classes and then made space for them to be met? What if I am enough?
These questions hit different. What if I am enough?
The word enough warmed my heart and opened my eyes. It hadn’t occurred to me that my thoughts around my classes and my teaching not being good enough, were steeped in that very belief about myself—that I wasn’t good enough. But, I had been stuck in a mindset believing that because I was a newer teacher that I had to give and do more for my class to be approved of by the students and myself. The truth was I didn’t. What I brought to my classes, whether substituting or hosting my own, was enough. So for the third week of substituting classes, I took a more somber approach to class structuring—I focused on the experience rather than the process. Instead of outlining the class from beginning to end, I wrote out my intentions for the class to help ground my teaching and hold myself accountable to the atmosphere I sought to cultivate. Writing out the ambiance I desired, what I hoped to teach, how students would feel afterwards, I began to see the class unfold before me. When I stepped into the classroom to teach, arranging the props for students, it already felt familiar. I felt comfortable and prepared. At peace and grounded.
And I can proudly say that the third week of classes turned out to be my most confident ones yet. I was relaxed, present, and taught to who was in the room—offering cues and adjustments rather than rehearsed setup cues that weren’t relevant. Class felt like the gift I’ve been wanting to give since my community classes for YTT (yoga teacher training), because then and now I trust that I’m enough.
Trust you’re enough.
